My Memories
by DeathDragon130
Summary: I left Ferelden to the Free Marches to escape my hearache, but when I find myself trying to heal it seems that my heart might be destined to fall apart. But somehow love seems to find a way. First attempt at a Dragon Age fanfic.
1. Chapter 1

My Memories: Chapter 1:

**(Hello all I hope you enjoy this story, this is my first Dragon Age Origins fanfic. I try to stay in tune with Dragon Age, but I decided to deviate from the game a bit.)**

I stood on top the ship watching the land of Ferelden slowly drift away from my sights as the boat continued out to sea. I could feel the waves of sorrow and anguish come from myself in waves as I looked back on the place I once thought was my home as turned my back I felt a sort of peace wash over me as I looked toward my future destination of Kirkwall. I had written a letter to the Viscount nearly two days after my adoptive sister slew the Archdemon, allow me to explain my name is Anita Cousland I am the adoptive sister to Mia Cousland and a mage from the Circle.

I have dark brown eyes and long black hair that I keep pinned tightly in a bun just like my adoptive mother did when I was younger; I was wearing my long white robes with my white sash covering the top of my head it looked like a hood and in my right hand was a white staff that on the top of it was a sun with a crescent moon inside it, a dear friend of mine gave me before he became a templar… I dared not look back into the past for fear that I would lose myself in my most hurtful memories. I watched as the sun began to set I allowed warm glow from the sun drying the tears that I shed.

Two weeks have past when the boat finally docked upon the ports of Kirkwall as I stepped off the ship I noticed a lot of Ferelden refugees at the front of the gate I was saddened slightly at the sight. I then noticed one of the guards walking toward me she had bright red hair that was pulled back loosely and she wore a red band around her head. I could tell that she was a capable warrior when she stood nearly a foot away she asked," Are you Lady Cousland?"

I couldn't help, but mentally flinch at the title, but I gave a small smile before nodding my head.

"My name is Aveline, I was sent to escort you to the Viscounts' office." She said with a smile.

I nodded to before she turned and began to lead me through the city as we arrived she showed me the door that lead to the Viscount's office and with that she turned to me and said," This is Viscount's office I am to escort you around to where you'll be staying after your meeting with the Viscount."

I nodded as I watched her leave I could feel the people's stare at me I raised my hand and knocked on the door.

"Come in," I heard a gruff voice said.

As I entered I could see an elderly man sitting and writing when he looked up and noticed me he smiled before saying," Ah, Warden Anita it is an honor to have you here in Kirkwall I received your letter nearly three weeks ago and I have spoke with the Grand Cleric. You are welcome here; I have taken the liberty of setting you up a house in Hightown. I'll have the Guard Avaline escort you to your new home."

I could tell that this man seemed pleasant enough though I could tell he was slightly weary of me since I was a mage. I smiled before I said my good bye before I left the Viscount's office. There I could see Avaline standing there waiting for me;

"I take it that you are from Ferelden?" Aveline asked as we walked through Hightown.

I couldn't help, but smile before replying," Yes I am from Ferelden, my sister is the Hero of Ferelden and the Queen."

I noticed the look on that came over Avaline's face which caused me to laugh as she quickly shook her head out of her stupor. She then stopped in front of a large house before turning to me and said," Are you truly the Hero's sister?"

I could only give her a sad smile before replying," Yes I am though I am not as great as her I did help her on her travels…"

"Well I am sure it is exciting maybe when I'm not busy with guard think I can stop by to listen to your tales? From the looks of it you could use a friend." She said with a smile.

I couldn't help, but let a true smile appear on my face before replying," I'd like that Aveline."

After I bid Aveline good bye I entered my new home and noticed that it was large as well as beautiful I then said out loud," My the Viscount surely out done himself."

"Hello you must be our new Lady," A female voice said behind me.

I turned to see who addressed me much to my surprise I could see a little female elf, she had light brown hair that was braided and dark brown eyes. The young girl wore a white shirt under a green dress.

"Aya who are you talking to?" A male voice said before walking up behind the young girl. He was too was an elf; he had short black hair that had a ponytail in the back and he had blue eyes; he wore a white dress shirt with black pants and boots.

"Ah, Lady Anita I was told that you would become the new lord of this estate, it's an honor. My name is Alyan and this is my daughter Aya we are to be the keepers of your estate while you are a way." Alyn said with a smile.

I couldn't help, but nod my head before I asked," May I ask where my room is located? I fear I may get lost in this large manor."

Aya giggled before saying," I'll show her where her room is papa!"

I smiled as the young elf took my hand and began to lead me upstairs and to a door that I assumed was to my room as I opened it I was amazed on how big it was it sort of reminded my of my old room back before I entered the Circle of Magi.

"Why are you sad, My Lady?" Aya asked.

"It's nothing… I think I am going to head to sleep I have not had a bed to sleep in for a long time. Thank you Aya for showing me to my room." I said giving the young girl a smile.

"I'm glad to help, Lady Anita." She replied happily before bidding me a good night as I stood in the middle of this large room I could almost feel the sadness return, but I quickly shook my head before placing my staff near my large bed and taking off scarf placing on the dresser next to my bed. I then got into bed and began to feel as if my life would be turned around here in Kickwall.

**(I am sorry this is my first Dragon Age fanfic. Hope you enjoyed it!)**


	2. Chapter 2

My Memories: Chapter 2:

**(This shall be my first attempt at Yaoi! M!Hawke and Anders if you don't then please don't read. This chapter will be the only 3rd person chapter then I will go back to first POV. Sorry for the confusion.)**

Aveline was making the last of her rounds when she started to head to up to High Town, it was then that she noticed Adrian Hawke, Anders, Verric and Fenris walking toward her.

"Aveline!" Adrian called out as he approached. Adrian Hawke was a somewhat like a annoying younger brother to her. He and his family had helped her get into Kirkwall so he and his family sort of became hers too. Adrian had short black hair and beard though he trimmed it regularly. He had on his Sir Isaac armor on along with his sword.

She also that Anders was with him following him around kind of like a love sick puppy, he had his normal light blondish brown hair in a ponytail and wore his normal attire though Aveline could see in his light brown eyes that he was tired though Aveline thinks it wasn't just Justice weighing him down.

"Now Hawke we know you want sweep Aveline off her feet, but do try to remember you have an easily jealous lover…" Varric replied with a chuckle as he could see Anders glare at him.

Aveline shook her head when she saw Varric wearing his normal attire his light brown hair pulled back and his dark brown eyes held a humorous tone in them when he also noticed Fenris glaring at him as well.

Fenris was a tall elf with tanned skin and Lyrium markings on him that were from his old master, his short silver hair stopped at his ears and his forest green eyes were narrowed at Varric before turning to glare at Anders. Aveline could instantly feel an argument about to start so quickly said," Hawke it's good to see you. Was there something you need?"

"Not really I noticed that you were in the area and just wanted to see what you were up to," Adrian stated with a smile.

"Well since you asked so nicely, I am finishing my rounds then going to see a friend," Aveline stated before noticing the twinkle in Adrian's eyes.

"Oh and would this person be a certain Donnic we know?" Adrian asked with a teasing voice.

Varric then turned his head toward Aveline and she noticed that he too had the same twinkle in his eyes too before adding," Yes how is he by the way?"

Aveline narrowed her eyes before replying," No Donnic is not the one I am going to see and he's fine."

Before anymore could be added a female voice timidly called out," Aveline…"

Aveline instantly turned around to see Anita walking toward her, she was wearing her normal white gown that had some of its cloth dragging from behind and she wore her normal white scarf over her head that gave a hooded appearance.

"Anita I was just on my way to see you. What's that?" Aveline asked taking note of the bags in her hands.

"Oh, well I gave Alyan and Aya the day off since they never have time to do anything together… So I am picking up supplies for Dinner," Anita replied with a small smile.

Before Aveline could say anything else she heard Anders say," Anita… as in Anita Cousland and the sister to the Hero of Ferelden?"

Anita instantly stiffened slightly which caused Aveline to sigh before turning back to Adrian and began to introduce them," Anita this Adrian Hawke, Anders, Verric and Fenris… Everyone this is Anita Cousland."

Anita nodded her head to each of them it was then that Varric said," Well this is a good day maybe you could tell us some of your adventures with you sister."

Anita gave a sort of watery smile before gently nodding her head it was then that Adrian said," Are you a grey warden as well?"

Anita nodded her head before Fenris stated;" You aren't very much of a talker are you?"

Before Anita could do anything Anders instantly cut in by saying," I met you sister during my time as a Grey Warden in Amaranthine, you sister was looking for you… I also heard you a mage."

"What?" Fenris growled out his fist clenching.

"Enough both of you, I don't want to hear anymore arguing I'm starting to develop a head ache. At any rate it was nice meeting you Anita you should come to the Hanged Man and meet the rest of our little group. My sister is a Mage and I'm sure she could use the company." Adrian said with a smile.

"Great just what we need one more mage," Fenris growled.

"You should shut up you stupid mage hating elf," Anders quickly shot at him.

"What was that you Abomination?" Fenris said quickly turning to Anders with a scowl.

"Oh are you deaf just as you are stupid?" Anders replied back with his arms crossed over his chest as he turned to Fenris.

Anita sensed that it was going to turn ugly and began to shuffle behind Aveline during the months she stayed Aveline became her big sister and a sort of mother figure to her.

"Hawke you better do something with those two they are beginning to scare poor Angel over there," Verric stated when he noticed Anita beginning to hid behind Aveline who was rubbing her forehead in aggravation.

"ENOUGH YOU TWO OR I'LL TIE BOTH UP AND THROW YOU BOTH IN THE CLOSET AGAIN!" Adrian yelled this caused them both to become quiet. Instead of talking they both instead glared at each other.

"What happened?" Anita quietly asked Aveline.

"I'll tell you later, but let's say our goodbyes so we could head out of here." Aveline said with an aggravated sigh.

Anita then noticed that Aveline was rubbing her head in vain attempt to stop the headache that had formed during the argument between Anders and Fenris.

"Well we kept you long enough, come on Hawke let's go get the Elf and Blondie drunk…" Varric stated with a laugh.

Adrian nodded his head also noticing Aveline's gestures they both said their goodbyes before Hawke grabbed both Anders and Fenris by the scruffs of their necks and began to drag them to the Hanged Man with Varric walking behind them.

"Well that was unexpected…" Anita stated as she looked Aveline.

"Yes and I was hoping to get to your house unnoticed so that attention wouldn't be drawn to you after all I know you hate being in the center of attention," Aveline stated with a small apologetic smile.

"It's okay, it's was nice meeting your friends even though it's obvious that your friend Fenris doesn't like mages I take it?" Anita asked.

Aveline sighed before replying," I am afraid not, but I'll explain once we are at your house."

Anita nodded as she began to lead Aveline back home; she couldn't help, but feel like her world would wind up being crushed again.

**(Hope you enjoy! Sorry if characters seemed OOC tried to keep them in character.)**


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